Bali's calling.
It whispers to me in my dreams, it appears as images of a big and powerful Father - his voice murmurs: "It's time, my girl, I can't wait to see you." This attraction is like a magnetic force - you can't resist it. Even if there is no logical justification for it, you will still end up there, if The Island beckons.
Well, I did have plenty of reasons to go there in the fall. First of all, I felt — with every fiber — that it was in mystical Ubud where I wanted to launch my course "Feminine". After all, that’s where the idea first came to me.
Yes, I missed the palms, the coconuts, the carefree surf life - for sure, but...
But something else pulled me more than anything: the meeting.
The meeting with the mystical Man whose image had been growing more vivid in my mind: tall, lean, broad-shouldered - not at all my usual type, but that didn’t matter in the slightest. I felt that he would become a very significant person in my life.
I saw our energies twisting together in a unified spiral, lifting our consciousness far beyond the reaches of the cosmos. I felt things I had never felt before - lightness, freedom, trust… and something else...
Sometimes I’d see my Inner Girl in those visions — tiny, vulnerable - cradled in the arms of this spirit, rocked gently, nourishing with love and infinite care.
Day by day, the anticipation became almost unbearable. The tickets were bought. The suitcases packed. I began burning bridges - holding my favourite rituals: cutting ties that had run their course, burning old diaries, cleansing both inner and outer space of burdensome attachments, tossing out anything that no longer belonged in the New Life I could feel waiting for me in Bali.
The decision to leave wasn’t easy. It meant facing the truth - that my family had fallen apart once again. My heart was breaking with grief… but my womb hurt even more. The illness had grown dangerously close to the point of no return. And I knew - this was my body’s cry for help.
I knew, deep in my bones, that the father of my child didn’t see me as his Beloved Woman. Sex with him felt like a spit into the soul… a violation of everything I longed to experience in sacred union with a partner.
And, as a result, for nearly a year my body had been sending signs, which, being ignored, turned into cervical dysplasia - a single step away from cancer.
It whispers to me in my dreams, it appears as images of a big and powerful Father - his voice murmurs: "It's time, my girl, I can't wait to see you." This attraction is like a magnetic force - you can't resist it. Even if there is no logical justification for it, you will still end up there, if The Island beckons.
Well, I did have plenty of reasons to go there in the fall. First of all, I felt — with every fiber — that it was in mystical Ubud where I wanted to launch my course "Feminine". After all, that’s where the idea first came to me.
Yes, I missed the palms, the coconuts, the carefree surf life - for sure, but...
But something else pulled me more than anything: the meeting.
The meeting with the mystical Man whose image had been growing more vivid in my mind: tall, lean, broad-shouldered - not at all my usual type, but that didn’t matter in the slightest. I felt that he would become a very significant person in my life.
I saw our energies twisting together in a unified spiral, lifting our consciousness far beyond the reaches of the cosmos. I felt things I had never felt before - lightness, freedom, trust… and something else...
Sometimes I’d see my Inner Girl in those visions — tiny, vulnerable - cradled in the arms of this spirit, rocked gently, nourishing with love and infinite care.
Day by day, the anticipation became almost unbearable. The tickets were bought. The suitcases packed. I began burning bridges - holding my favourite rituals: cutting ties that had run their course, burning old diaries, cleansing both inner and outer space of burdensome attachments, tossing out anything that no longer belonged in the New Life I could feel waiting for me in Bali.
The decision to leave wasn’t easy. It meant facing the truth - that my family had fallen apart once again. My heart was breaking with grief… but my womb hurt even more. The illness had grown dangerously close to the point of no return. And I knew - this was my body’s cry for help.
I knew, deep in my bones, that the father of my child didn’t see me as his Beloved Woman. Sex with him felt like a spit into the soul… a violation of everything I longed to experience in sacred union with a partner.
And, as a result, for nearly a year my body had been sending signs, which, being ignored, turned into cervical dysplasia - a single step away from cancer.
To be continued...