In truth, it never felt like a separation at all. From morning till late night, we stayed on video calls, each working on our own project, tossing hilarious jokes back and forth. Everything simply flowed better when we were connected. We woke up “together,” and I’d fall asleep to the tales he made up. My inner little girl was glowing with happiness. And he was clearly enjoying his role as a grandfather.
Yes, for me, he was exactly a projection of my grandfather—the closest person from my childhood—and I was fully aware of it. Truth be told, when I dreamed of the masculine energy I wanted by my side, it was precisely my grandpa’s: fun, attentive, gentle, kind, and loving—a best friend I could talk endlessly about energies with and explore the mysteries of this astonishing life together. That’s what my beloved grandpa was like, gone too soon, and that’s how I saw Snake, who, it seemed, genuinely enjoyed interacting as a wise protector with my stuck-in-childhood self. The idea of a relationship with such a precise projection of a close relative felt utterly absurd, but that part of me desperately needed healing, and every moment with Snake was truly fulfilling for me.
Creativity was overflowing. So much energy was being released that I shared it abundantly with my students. Enrollment for the course came in nonstop; I was recording new meditations and lessons for my “Feminine” course, planning the development of my project, creating designs, writing articles, and dancing—a lot! All of this was unfolding in a stream of immense love and gratitude, which I shared with my beloved even across the distance.
On his birthday I sent him a soulful recording with the words: “Come back soon, my beloved student—there is still so much for us to explore together.”