The next day, my Balinese supplier delivered the oils. Among them were pure coconut oil, yoni oil, an aphrodisiac, and several other fragrant massage blends. I had long dreamed of adding a natural care section to my boutique, and finally, that dream was coming true! I spent the whole day sorting through the jars, inhaling the scents of pure essential oils, diving into the wonderful new world of aromatherapy.
“How about a Palo Santo oil massage, Cat?” Snake asked, watching my process with curiosity. “Mmm,” I purred dreamily. “Massage is a special form of tantric art.” “So… is that a yes?” Snake smiled.
My heart fluttered in anticipation of this massage—I could feel us growing closer, yet I still wasn’t sure I was ready to let him touch my body.
“Yes… tonight,” I blurted out—the first thing that came to mind, just to give myself a little time to prepare mentally.
Inventing some “very convincing” reasons, I quickly gathered my things and headed toward my house. With every passing minute, a growing excitement rose inside me, slowly transforming into anxiety on the verge of panic.
“Is this happening? This is happening! Tonight will be our First Time!” “Nothing like that is happening, Cat. He just offered you a massage.” “Yeah! A massage, huh?! I know these guys: ‘Let me give you a massage—nothing more i promise.’ And then we end up having sex I’m not ready for. NOT READY. I’M NOT READY. I’m sick! And he doesn’t even know! He’s probably thinking, ‘Ohhh yeah, I’ll bang that hot Kitty-Cat and fly off happy to Australia!’ Well, no chance, Snake. Cat is broken. She has nothing to offer—except maybe a massage…” “Then that’s exactly what you need to state right from the start. Tonight is a massage, and nothing more. No intimacy, no touching genitals, no crossing boundaries. Cat, you are the guide, not a victim. You are the master, not the lover. You’re in control, and you set the rules. Act.”
The many-voiced storm inside me softened a little. I scrubbed myself squeaky clean, dressed up, trying as much as possible to keep a casual Balinese everyday look, and rode over to him.
“Let’s begin our tantric massage journey with the upper body today. I’ll be your partner and your guide. I want to show you how sensual massage can be without touching intimate zones.”
Exhaling, I slipped my shirt off my shoulders and turned my back to him. I promised myself to stay composed and maintain boundaries, even though the electricity between us was obvious to the naked eye.
“A woman is all about feeling,” my sudden lecture came out like a desperate attempt to hold the line and not dive too deep into pleasure. “It’s our nature. We can experience much higher sensations with far less intense stimulation than men. Most men enjoy deep, forceful massage—cracked bones and all. With women, it’s different: the gentler the touch, the deeper the response in our body. Delicacy and respect build trust, and only in trust do sensations awaken. The essence of tantric massage isn’t working the muscles, but awakening sensuality. That’s why it’s not so much about what you do, but how — with what intention, what inner state…” “Exhale, Cat,” Snake interrupted gently. “Relax. Let me lead this time. Just tell me if anything feels uncomfortable.”
I took a deep breath… exhaled… and surrendered.
He poured some Palo Santo oil onto his palms and gently slid his hands from the base of my neck to my shoulders. That touch held everything: his strength, focused attention, restrained desire, and so much care that I instinctively let out a soft, purring moan, leaning my whole body into his warm hands.
“Easy, girl, I’ve only just begun,” Snake whispered with quiet authority. “Looks like you don’t really need my guidance,” I replied, my voice trembling with pleasure.
And we fully dissolved into this silent tantric process.
Candles filled the gazebo with a warm, intimate glow. I sat with my back pressed against him, gently swaying to the slow music. Every movement of his hands felt perfectly attuned to my body. With slow, tender yet confident pressure, he explored every inch of my head, observing my responses. And my body engaged in a sensual dialogue with him, relaxing deeper and deeper into its natural expression. I allowed myself to breathe deeply, to sound, to simply receive his touch without needing to give anything in return except my pleasure—as if the highest form of gratitude was the energy vibrating between us.
I felt myself through his touch, as if seeing myself through his eyes—and oh God, how deeply he was savoring it! Without a hint of lust, without the urge to rip off my shirt and make love. This was already enough. This was Tantra.
From my head, he moved to my ears and neck. Ears had always been too sensitive for me: I'd giggle awkwardly and pull away whenever a man tried to knead or—worse—lick them. But not this time. Without any pressure or boundary-pushing, subtly sensing my readiness, he drew closer, embracing me from behind with his whole body, adding his warm breath to the gentle massage. And it carried me away to places I'd never been.
Slow, deep inhale in sync with his… exhale… We entered a single ecstatic cycle of shared breath.
He smoothly transitioned from the back of my neck to the front, and I soared above the clouds, leaning into him and fully entrusting my body to his care. He controlled my movements, my responses, my breath, and my pleasure, which grew more orgasmic with each inhale. I felt every touch echo deep inside my yoni. For the first time in practice, I experienced something I had intuited for years: our neck is a projection of the vagina. As he explored the front of my neck, he could perfectly sense my whole body igniting. Slowly gliding his hands up and down, he seemed to intentionally lead me closer and closer to orgasm.
I surrendered completely… the moment he gently tightened his grip around my neck.
Submission, trust, reverence for his strength—and pleasure washed over me in a soft yet powerful wave, rising from my womb to the crown of my head. I leaned my head back onto his shoulder, took his hand, and kissed his palm, moaning softly as that beautiful state continued to flow between us again and again.
How long we remained like that—only the sky knows. Sitting quietly, holding each other, savoring the moment gifted to both of us—for the first time not only with each other, but for the first time in our lives.
Everything I had known in theory turned out to be even brighter and deeper in practice than I could have imagined. And it was so precious that all my previous sexual experiences simply faded in comparison to the greatness of this pure essence of bliss.