I began to feel this man approaching long before we ever met.
To be honest, his image started forming in my subconscious for a very good reason. I was deeply unhappy: my inner Woman longed for a deep intellectual connection with a beloved; my inner Girl yearned for the love and affection of a sensitive, attentive man; and my inner Lover wanted to explore in real life what she knew so well in theory—tantric connection with a partner.
I had read so much about it, shared it with friends in excited bursts, pictured every detail of the process and the swirling sensations between two people in love… It called to me so strongly, yet felt completely unreachable in my current reality.
I had this intuition that he would come to me in autumn, leaving a profound mark on my life.
He was enigmatic in every sense: unconventional looks, unconventional mind, incredibly open, loving, and gentle, yet somehow distant and shrouded in mystery...
"How is that even possible?" I wondered. "What if it ends up hurting me?"
"Oh, come on, stop overthinking it! You've conjured up these fairytale princes, and now you're nitpicking?" I chuckled to myself, drifting off into delicious daydreams about what was to come.
I've always had this gift—to glimpse the future. Ever since I was a child, I'd catch these vivid images that would inevitably play out in reality. I could always tell them apart from mere fantasies. They weren't something I made up; they just happened to me, whether I was ready to see them or not.
Sometimes, I'd be chatting with someone about nothing in particular, and suddenly, I'd be watching a film on my inner screen about what's ahead. I would pause, staring into space, absorbing details on how things would unravel. It was like getting a trailer for a movie where I'm playing the leading role.
And it always came with the same question: "Are you ready?"
"Ready?" I asked myself in silence, looking at my picture-perfect life—one that looked like a dream from the outside, yet inside brought me only pain and disappointment.
Was I ready, once again, to leave behind everything that seemed stable, comfortable, and safe—to step into an adventure with no guarantees and no "return ticket"?
Was I ready to believe I deserved to truly Live?
"I'm ready... ready. Ready."
To be honest, his image started forming in my subconscious for a very good reason. I was deeply unhappy: my inner Woman longed for a deep intellectual connection with a beloved; my inner Girl yearned for the love and affection of a sensitive, attentive man; and my inner Lover wanted to explore in real life what she knew so well in theory—tantric connection with a partner.
I had read so much about it, shared it with friends in excited bursts, pictured every detail of the process and the swirling sensations between two people in love… It called to me so strongly, yet felt completely unreachable in my current reality.
I had this intuition that he would come to me in autumn, leaving a profound mark on my life.
He was enigmatic in every sense: unconventional looks, unconventional mind, incredibly open, loving, and gentle, yet somehow distant and shrouded in mystery...
"How is that even possible?" I wondered. "What if it ends up hurting me?"
"Oh, come on, stop overthinking it! You've conjured up these fairytale princes, and now you're nitpicking?" I chuckled to myself, drifting off into delicious daydreams about what was to come.
I've always had this gift—to glimpse the future. Ever since I was a child, I'd catch these vivid images that would inevitably play out in reality. I could always tell them apart from mere fantasies. They weren't something I made up; they just happened to me, whether I was ready to see them or not.
Sometimes, I'd be chatting with someone about nothing in particular, and suddenly, I'd be watching a film on my inner screen about what's ahead. I would pause, staring into space, absorbing details on how things would unravel. It was like getting a trailer for a movie where I'm playing the leading role.
And it always came with the same question: "Are you ready?"
"Ready?" I asked myself in silence, looking at my picture-perfect life—one that looked like a dream from the outside, yet inside brought me only pain and disappointment.
Was I ready, once again, to leave behind everything that seemed stable, comfortable, and safe—to step into an adventure with no guarantees and no "return ticket"?
Was I ready to believe I deserved to truly Live?
"I'm ready... ready. Ready."